London Ninja

Word: ladrón,-ona
Definition: thief [ɵɪ:f] n (pl thieves [ɵɪ:vz])
Usage: Hay muchos ladrónes en Espana pero no pueden robar ninjas mas fuerte. (yes, I took 6 years of Espanol and passed the AP test in high school.

So I basically just got back from my first extensive trip to Portugal and Spain with the fam. Great trip full with excitement and aversion of potential disaster.

Some quick trip highlights:

1. 3 days in Portugal and 3 days in Barcelona.
2. 6 camera-happy Orientals traveling through lower economic countries of the EU. AKA targets on our back.
3. Guru-level Ninjitsu skills needed to protect all 6 in a hostile environment.

More to come…

My folks are in town visiting my arse in London this weekend with an excursion to Portugal and Spain next week.

Early observations of my current family gathering:

1. I’m not a fish and chips guy. Had that shit again at Borough Market today and I think I’m over it. It’s not bad, but at the end of the day its fried fish and chips. I am after all sophistimacated.
2. Walking around for like 10 hours gives the feet a nice workout.
3. Living on the fourth floor is great for personal exercise but is different carrying two different luggages.
4. Family gathering with my entire family means two prosumer photographers shooting up the town…which means very slow movement from site to site.
5. The water container for our flat can do exactly 16 mins of dishes, 2 showers, 3 teethbrushing sessions and 1 load of laundry before being depleted completely. Sorry, mum.
6. Chinese accents and British accents don’t do well together. If you are Chinese, please do not attempt a British accent…ever. I mean it. As a matter of fact…just don’t attempt a British accent. Or I will Ginsu your arse…..slow.

Real slow…

As part of our Bath trip, we visited the quaint little town of Lacock. It is apparently where they filmed some of Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice. You can see how they would as they all you have to do is remove the cars and you have an old school village.

It was basically a small village with small doors and the old British feel. The best part, of course, is the name. La-cock. Pronounced “Lay-cock”. Locals refer to the town lovingly as “the dick”. Blimey.

So yes, we have seen it. Stonehenge. One of the most famous prehistoric sites of the world….that’s what they keep telling us.

The rocks themselves are formed in a circle in kind of a cool way…I guess.

Wonder of the world

All of that said, it is right next to a road but you HAVE to buy tickets to see it along with an audio tour. It’s all good except all that I’m really interested in is taking pictures…not so much the whole “We believe they used to use this for….” kind of history because at the end of the day nobody really knows what Stonehenge is.

Of course, you have to fight with all the other folks that are also told that these rocks are a wonder of the world….

Can you take a picture for me?

Bottom line of Stonehenge is that it’s not as impressive as people say it is. The area is cool if you block out the crowds and the motorway but it’s definitely all a bit touristy.

Here are tips to seeing Stonehenge:
1. Bring your headphones. They give you the audio guide that is like a phone, but it’s a pain to hold it the whole time with one hand. Just plug your headphones in and you have your hands free to snap pictures AND you don’t get the last Briton’s ear wax in your ear.
2. Imagine you are looking at a UFO. And the aliens that come out of that UFO are hot chicks in bikinis…oh, and you’re the hottest guy on planet Earth to them and then all other men die. cheers.
3. Bring a jacket. It gets bloody cold up there.
4. Have multiple people take pics of you or bring a tripod.
5. Don’t try to touch any of the rocks at Stonehenge. You will be struck by thunder coming from the hand of Zeus.

Oh, I forgot to share this beautiful picture of the city of Dublin:

Finally got out of London. OK, I lie…I came out to Dublin a few weeks ago for Guinness, I mean work, during the week, which doesn’t really count.

Dublin in Celtic

Why Dublin?
1. It’s where the Guiness brewery is located.
2. I had to be there for work on Monday and Tuesday anyway.

We arrived on Saturday and immediately started exploring the city. The first stop? Breakfast. After taking a quick peek around City Centre, it became evident that Irish breakfasts are not that great. Beans, overdone scrambled eggs, black sausage…mmmm. Ok, so we cheated and went to McDonalds for breakfast. McMuffin bun, bacon, egg…so good…so American.

Highlights:
1. Took a historical walking tour of the city.
We took the historical walking tour, which highlighted some of the history of the place. Unfortunately, the tour did not give more detail on some of the more interesting things…like the IRA, Potato Famine, and Guinness.

Temple Bar in Dublin

2. Watched a football game in an Irish pub
As it was Saturday with an important game on, we hit up a pub in Temple Bar. Temple Bar is the main downtown area in Dublin for tourists. We were given a tip by our tour guide on the pub to hit (Palace Bar) with the most authenticity in the area. That’s where I got my first Guiness of the trip. I gotta say, it does taste better there. We sat next to some old Irish dudes that at started talking to us. I understood about 65% of what he was saying but I would repeat certain words to him to make him feel good. Something about football (not soccer)…and Guiness…

Yes, it tastes better in Dublin

3. Visited the Guiness Storehouse
It is expensive (15 EUR) to get in but it’s one of those experiences that you can tell your kids. Built in 1997, the Guiness Storehouse was quite an experience. I had no idea how big a company Guiness really was. I guess at a certain point they were the biggest brewery in the world. We got to taste the NorthStar brew, which is a limited edition brew that is only available there. There’s also this touristy thing at the top that gives you a nice view of all of Dublin. Definitely worth checking out if you’re in Dublin. I think if you wanted to bypass the pint of Guiness at the end, you could do the self-directed tour without paying a pence. I had booked mine online.

Such natural beauty

I was never really a big Guinness drinker before but have been converted. The milky color of the Guinness as it oozes out of the tap. The white foam that forms on top, aka the Head. And yes, I have heard all jokes that refer to Head.

You can continue to drink your Coors Lights, but I’m now a Guinness drinker.

4. Visited the Old Jameson Distillery
This is a new tourist site that gives you a viewing of the Irish whisky process and what goes in it. I volunteered for a taste test and took down like 4 shots of different kinds of whisky. Irish whisky is missing that smokey flavor that’s so heavy in Scotch whisky like Johnny, which I’m a fan of. It’s pretty smooth though. By smooth, I mean you only black out for 2 seconds after drinking it.

5. My cab driver was an ex-undercover intelligence officer that investigated IRA funding.
All of the cab drivers were quite interesting and very friendly. The last taxi driver we had to the airport told us all kinds of stories about chasing the money trail of the IRA all the way to Boston. It was very cool. He also recommended going to Belfast in North Ireland(which is a part of the UK) next time because of how expensive Dublin has become. Trudat.

6. Guinness.
Best Guiness in the world. Wish you were beer.

What I liked
1. People are great in Dublin. The locals are very friendly and quite chatty. My cab drivers all had stories to tell and questions to ask.
2. Guiness
3. Jameson
4. Guiness
5. Dawson St with Cafe En Seine and Fire

What I disliked
1. Prices are bloody expensive
2. Not a lot to see
3. Temple Bar area is a tourist / stag and hen party trap. Visit it but don’t eat or drink there without being gouged.
4. Food - just not Ireland’s strong point.

We spent a total of 4 days in Dublin and must say it was a nice experience. There’s not a whole lot to see there but theres a nice charm to the city and it feels completely safe…next time I go out to Ireland, I will probably venture outside of Dublin to get more of the countryside. And maybe have a bit of Guinness.