London Ninja

Banking in the UK has been an absolute nightmare.

When I came over from the US, I was given two “streamlined processes” that I can take. So I already had an edge on someone who did not work for a company with a relationship with a bank. I’ve heard it’s a nightmare to do it yourself. Ultimately it comes down to requiring you to have bills to prove your residence in the UK before banks will give you an account. But you can’t really get a residence without a bank account. WTF.

So I had two options:
1. Natwest UK
2. HSBC Premier International Banking

Being from the US, I decided to go for the HSBC Premier banking because it offers wires between the UK/US (at a crap exchange rate)…about a month ago.

I had to scan and email about 80 different forms of verification documentation to my account manager in the US. I went through two different people, neither of which had any clue what was going on. I just emailed them and left messages for them daily for weeks, usually without any response.

So finally, last week, after many attempts, I got my account manager on the line and voila…apparently the accounts had been opened but no one mentioned it to me. TYVM. The only problem was that my US cards were sent to my parents home and my UK cards were sent to the International banking center in Manchester. Um..TYVM, but I’m in London?!?! I actually had to get the bank to send the cards to my local branch, but as of writing do not have any credit or debit cards yet. Yeah, TYVM.

All of that said, there are two advantages to the Premier banking account:
1. You can do everything through the phone
2. You get a CSR on the phone 24/7
3. I got a 5000gbp overdraft, which I had to use to get my flat.

It was definitely a long drawn out process that HSBC had which I would not recommend. I have no experience with any other banks in the UK, but there has to be better than HSBC. All that said….the Brits say all the banks suck..so maybe banking just sucks overall in the UK. Or maybe banks suck overall across the world, since Americans say the same thing about BofA, Wells, Wamu(probably less so).

The one improvement for banks in the UK is that they don’t assess that ridiculous ATM charge if you use a different bank’s ATM. I’ve always felt that to be ridiculous and why I have gone with my internet banks (FirstIB and eTrade both reimburse ATM fees, not to mention the money-market-esque interest rates).

So you brought your entire suite of electronics to London and are about to plug each of them into the wall and suck down electricity like an American. Oops. Not that easy. I’m not sure how or where this all started (probably the French), but electricity is different in the UK than other parts of Europe and the USA.

Electricity in the UK:

Voltage: 230V - outlets are quite often controlled by wall switches. They are not always “on”. 240V may also be found although 230V is the official voltage.
Frequency: 50Hz
Type of Electrical Plug Used: Type G. It has three prongs (two flat and one rectangular) forming a triangle.

Wall sockets basically look like the picture below:

The plug on the left goes to a tea pot for afternoon tea and crumpets.

The cool thing with the wall sockets here is that they all come with on/off switches right on the wall. This is great for not consuming electricity when you don’t want to. It means you can save your electricity for plugging in your vacuum so you can Flowbee. That’s right…a perfect haircut EVERY TIME.

Anyways, what all this means is that you need to take your US power plug and get it to fit into those crazy looking ones in the UK.

There are basically two routes you can take to use your American devices:
1. Voltage converter - converts 220-240v voltage to 100-120v. This means it will make it so less voltage goes into your device so it doesn’t blow it up.
2. Plug adapter - If you have a device that runs at 220-240v already or if you have a device that has a built in voltage converter this is all you need.

Voltage converter (L) and plug adapter(R)

How do I figure out whether my device will need a converter or adapter?
Look for the Input section of the Power part of your device. If it has a range like 100-240v, you are set. If it’s static like 120VAC, don’t plug it in. Again, just look for a range like 100-240v. It’s pretty simple what it will do if you don’t listen to the London Ninja: YOU WILL BLOW SHIT UP!!!…or more likely it will short and you won’t be able to power up your portable clock anymore.

Pobrecita.

It was nice while it lasted. The peace. The calm. The lack of a proverbial ball and chain. I finally got a mobile after 5 weeks without one.

I have to admit I miss my Sprint PCS phone in the US. I had the ultimate EVDO plan for cheap and I was able to do anything I wanted whenever I wanted. Picture Mails, Texts, GPS, games, get online with my laptop, check email, check secure work email, etc etc. I was constantly on it, Texting, Pic’ing, etc…whenever I was walkin I was rocking it. Sure it was no iPhone, but I aint that hungry yet.

So my goal was to find the cheapest mobile phone plan possible. I already had the T-Mobile GSM phone from the US that had been unlocked so all I needed was the SIM card. The way to go for a low-cost solution is the Pay-As-You-Go plan, of course. You just drop by the store and pop in a SIM card. That’s it. No contracts, no credit checks. Nada.

Basically you have two options:

1. T-Mobile
SIM cards cost you money, but you can get it for .50 gbp online. This is cool, except it’s nice to go into a store to get it activated…and there are mobile phone stores all over the place. After you get your plan, their best plan offer these rates:

These are actually very good rates for a Pay As You Go plan.
2. Orange

This is what I ended up going with. You get a free SIM card in the store as long as you top up with at least 5gbp. The great thing is that the phone will be active for 6 months even if you don’t top up again. And as long as you get a call within that 6 months, your phone will be good for 1 year on the same 5gbp. That’s great for a emergency phone. Better than anything you can get in the US for the lowest “overall cost”.

The rates are similar but sucks if you call outside of the Orange network:

Of course, as was mentioned in my guide to watching movies in London on the cheap, Orange has their Orange Wednesdays where you get 2 for 1 tickets every Wednesday. That in itself makes it all worth it.

Maybe I’ll still be able to maintain some peace and quiet cuz I don’t have too many people to call in the UK.

Movies in London at least at a typical theatre like the Odeon Whiteleys down the street from me costs you a lovely 9.25 gbp. Yes, folks, £9.25 bloody quid (British slang for pound). Translated to USD, we’re talking about paying like 20 bucks(rounded up). Now, I think $10 is steep for a movie already …. but $20 USD for a bloody movie!?!! That’s totally crazy…and I mean Gnarls Barkley style. I wouldn’t pay $20 if Bruce Willis and that black limo driver came to the theatre and reenacted Die Hard 1 for me. Hell, I wouldn’t pay $20 if Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson showed up for a live mud-wrestling match…ok maybe I would, but only if you throw Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan in there too….and maybe some Bradgelina.

All this, of course, was until Transformers hit the scene. A lot of people have been praising this movie as a throwback to the old T2 and Total Recall Days. Back when you can count on a big action flick every summer that you HAVE TO SEE on the big screen. The kind of movies where big screen and big sound matter.

So how do you watch a movie in London without giving up your 2nd iPod? There are just three ways that I have found:

1. Orange, the UK mobile company, has a deal for its customers to get two-for-one tickets on Wednesdays called Orange Wednesdays. That’s pretty cool. Will blog more about phones in the UK later.

2. Cineworld has a deal where you pay 11 quid for all-you-can-watch tickets. So you can watch Hostel 2 as many times as you want when it comes out. There are only a few locations in London and it requires a 1-year commitment, so not good unless you watch a few movies a month.

3. Download your movies. Totally legal movies only, of course. I would never suggest that you download whole Hollywood movies, burn them on to a DVD+RW and play them on your DVD player. Alternatively you could stream them to your TV if you have a receiver that can connect via wifi. If you have a laptop, many of them have s-video that can plug directly into your TV. I would most definitely never suggest downloading any movies that come out around Oscar season that say “For your Academy Consideration Only”. That would just be wrong.

I’ll let you know when I try one of these methods, which will probably be the Orange Wednesdays, as I am getting sick of watching re-runs of Dark Angel, which always seems to be on the tube here(Jessica Alba’s overrated) along with that Rihanna video. Man, I miss Tivo. Optimus Prime awaits.

Here’s the start of a series on ex-pat finance. This first one is more for Travelers, which I am right now.

For Cash:
If you have a Bank of America checking account, you can get cash from any Barclays ATM in the UK and other Banks internationally without a surcharge. Otherwise you should still just hit the ATM with your bank account even through you will pay for it. That’s because the time to deal with money exchange and checking rates are not worth it while you’re on vacation. You know you will get good rates from the ATM, so just go with it.

Credit Card:
There’s only one credit card company you should consider when you travel abroad: Capital One Cash. They don’t assess the ridiculous 3% fee usually assessed by your credit cards like Chase and Bank of America. That’s $3 for every $100! In London that could buy you…well…maybe something on the 99 pence menu at McDonalds. Regardless, you should just get a Capital One credit card and use it for travel.

“Phone Home” as ET would say. That’s what I’ve needed to do since I’ve arrived in London for countless reasons. These have included long conference calls with the US. As I see it there are the following options:

1. Call direct.
AKA “butt-rape”. And by “butt-rape”, I mean the worst San-Quentin style by a gang of large men not of your ethnicity. Using the hotel phone to call directly to the USA will cost $19,084 zillion GBP. Converted into USD, that is 898,287 zillion with the way the USD is valued currently. Bush sucks. (So does Blair)…but I digress.

2. Calling Card:
This works relatively well, sometimes with rates lower than Skype. It is all Voice Over Internet Protocol (VOIP), aka Internet calling anyway. There are a couple of cons to this method, however. First, you have to physically go to a stereotypical Chinese or Middle Eastern run ghetto shop, walk by all the magnets and Big Ben or Golden Gate Bridge trinkets before talking to a small to medium size, out of shape, generally fugly man with bad breathe. By fugly, I mean f’in ugly. You might be able to get a card online, but I haven’t tried that because I fear that even online the halitosis will carry through the air vent on my laptop.

The other problem is that hotels usually will charge you like a dollar just for the connecting fee. FDAT.

3. PC to PC.
This does not work. The technology works fine but there are some shortcomings here. Skype works great for PC to PC calls. I think all of the other IM clients support this as well: MSN, Yahoo…probably not AIM since it is such a terrible IM client. At the end of the day, though, why use any of those other ones when Skype’s entire business is Internet telephony? As a bonus, you can transfer files of ANY size to any of your clients. I use it at work and while it’s not perfect, it’s pretty good.

If my friends are online, I’d rather IM then so I can continue to read Slashdot, Fatwallet, or blogs such as the misAdventures of Workmonkey once or twice every 3 months when there’s a new posting. It’s the same as my cell phone. Unless I am driving, Text Messaging actually works better.

So what about people that cannot type…ie my parents? Well, I will glady pay $19,084 zillion GBP not to have to troubleshoot why their PC is not working like it should. This usually ends up with a dissertation on how your Yahoo ID and email is NOT the same as your Windows account. My folks, God bless their souls, just do not get the computer or this thing called the Internet. As such, I will pay to call them on the phone.

4. Skype
VOIP is the best way to call from the UK to the US, bar none. But how and what should you do?

Use Skype. If you are a n00b, you should start by getting a headset like the Plantronics Audio 330 that I have. I prefer the ones that cover both ears, but they all work the same for the most part unless you are going a shit Chinese Sony-knock-off brand like Coby. I like saving money, but come on now.

There are three essential services from Skype:
Skype Out: This is the most important one. You put in money on your Skype account that allow for calling. Prices from the UK to the US is 2.1 cents/min.

Skype In: As referred to earlier, to allow for others to call you, you must make it simple. Skype In allows you to get a local number in the US that routes to your Skype account in the UK. You just leave your computer on and you can get all of these calls at the normal International rates. It’s good to have a local US number, because the minute you try to communicate a UK number to a friend in the US like +4420855551234, they will hang up on you. Skype In costs $18 for 3 months or $60 for a full year…not terrible…and it comes with Voicemail, which I would think should just be a free service but they charge for it. FDAT.

Skype To Go: This is the ability to use your cell phone to make international calls through Skype. It’s a great idea considering direct calls internationally through your cell phone is the equivalent of butt rape(see #1 above) or putting AJAX(the cleaner, not the Web 2.0 technology) in your eyes. And by eyes, I just mean two holes you cut with a precision scapel in your flesh near your scrotum. (that’s gross)

More on this later when I actually get a cell phone. It’s actually been pretty cool not having a cell phone. The problem is that some of the fun is also gone. It’s not the actual talking to people…well, maybe just those late night drunk dials. It’s all the fun my EVDO Sprint phone offered me: Internet access, Internet tethering of my laptop through the Bluetooth on my phone to allow for connectivity from anywhere, the GPS on the phone, but most of all: PictureMail. I can’t just take a picture of a pint of London Pride ale and send it off to my friends with a subject of “Beer o Clock” right now. I’ll find a way eventually.

Problems with Skype: Well, it’s Voice over IP, which means if you are also downloading 28 Weeks Later or Knocked Up (both movies I have yet to see), your voice quality will suck arse(British for ass). Generally, you should not use your computer while calling with Skype or you will sound like Soundwave from the Transformers (release July 3). The other problem with Skype is that there are actually some numbers (1-866, etc) that do not work. It has something to do with toll-free number carriers that block VOIP but regardless just do not work. WTF.

5. Jajah
This service is actually very novel and very cool. It makes complete sense, which is that who the hell wants to use a PC to make a call? Everyone is used to the phone, including my mom, including my dad, including my grandma, and including my brother’s wife’s uncle’s best friend in Taiwan. Basically, you go to the website and punch in your from and to number.

Jajah will then ring you at your number and connect you with the other number. That’s it. The rates are a bit higher at 1.5GBP per minute to call from UK to the US, which is like 3 cents /min, but you can use your computer and browse any of the sites mentioned earlier or just aggregate them with Google Reader. It is almost easy enough to teach my folks…but I say almost. By almost I mean I will never ever attempt to do so.

Now back to solving world peace….