London Ninja

I used to scour the different budget airlines including RyanAir and EasyJet for cheap flights to different places in Europe. That is until my friends Joe and Stacy showed me the light. That light is Skyscanner. It basically does all that work for me. I can pick a set of days and it tells me what locations are under 50 quid. I can choose a location and it will give me the chart on prices.

The best thing is that it encompasses a whole bunch of different airlines. It’s something that Travelocity and Orbitz in the US sort of attempt to do but pretty much fail at. I book all of my travel through Skyscanner. The only drawback is that its prices aren’t updated automatically. Some of the prices are 3-5 days stale, which means it’s not good for last minute travel deals.

I finally got a new mobile. I had an old mobile that I was using here the past 6 months that has been excruciatingly old. It’s fat, slow, and just plain fugly. Texting was never fun on that thing.

In continually pursuing the easiest way to contact friends and family at home, the opportunity came up over the Christmas period to get a 3 Skype Phone, an innovative integration of 3G and Since becoming a Brit and foregoing the debaucle that is American presidential race. Hussein Osama, Hilary, Romney, Giuliani, Ron Paul?…I will allow anyone seeking refuge a week on my futon to get out of America…but I digress….phones…right. I’ve been using Skype extensively to talk with some friends and my family and it’s been great. In particular, Skype video chat is pretty amazing. I even purchased a shiney new webcam to get better quality video and so I don’t have to use a headset when I talk. I also broadcast live streaming video in nothing but my knickers for a small monthly charge to subscribing members.

The 3 Skypephone is basically a phone that allows you persistent connection with Skype and full phone integration to be able to call and receive calls with anyone Skype for a low monthly cost. Introduced in October, it allows one to IM/talk with anyone else that is on Skype for £10/month minimum top up on your Pay As You Go plan. That £10 is used for minutes and texts. That’s great. I mean, if you have a Windows Mobile or other platform that supports a Skype client, you already had this functionality but you also probably pay a lot more than £10/month for your service.

I just activated the Skypephone today and gotta say it is a nice change to actually have a phone that can do stuff like take pictures and play mp3s. The Skype part also works very well. You just sign in to your Skype account and you can IM/call anyone that’s online. Since this is the way I chat with my folks in the US, it’s a nice service to have. They are supposedly going to bring in SkypeIn and SkypeOut features to allow you to call and receive international calls with cheap Skype rates. You can even use it to call Londonninja Inc to subscribe to our streaming video feeds. It’s worth every pence, mi laddy.

I had previously wrote about electronics in the UK, which I am sure many are familiar with. It’s pretty simple, you go to Walmart and purchase that travel voltage converter next to the section with the Foreman Grills and fat ladies with strollers. You then browse through the electronics section, muttering how dated some of the stuff is at these type of stores.

That was what I had been using for a while but there are some serious limits to how usable those damn converters are.

1. You are not supposed to leave those plugged in for extended periods of time.
2. You are not to exceed a certain watt. If you do, it will melt down and kill you.
3. You have to attach it to an adapter, which then makes your contraption quite unsightly for your imaginary friends.

This is what most people live with….but the Ninja-style does not rest. I present to you the Voltage Transformer:

Ex-pat Holy Grail

The voltage transformer is a constant voltage converter you can leave plugged in. You can also plug in an American power strip to allow you to plug in American devices without messing with adapters. I have one 6-outlet surge protector and another extension cord from that for my bedroom. I purchased a 500W model, which means you can’t surpass that number at any given time. Since I do not have my electric bull plugged in, I am well below the limit. I have my PS2 (yes, old skool), cordless phone, laser printer, computer speaker system, and everything else in there now. All the devices that would have blown the Walmart converter into smithereens(hadn’t used that phrase in some time, so had to look it up) now work just fine. Bloody brilliant…and it’s like $30 + tax/shipping in America. ZOMG.

In business terms, we like to say things like “reach out to X”, “mitigate the risks of..”, “core competencies”, “deliverables”, “big crocks”, “bloody dillweeds”, and “needle-movers”. Let me add a few more: “long cock tail”, “quick win”, and my favorite: “low-hanging fruit”…where was I?

Ah yes….so in business terms, I would call the voltage transformer an absolute “needle-moving big rock”. I would almost go as far as saying it has changed my vida loca. Lovely. Now time to go pick off some “low hanging fruit”.

Ah yes, it’s back. Football. No, not soccer. Real football that you do not play with your foot but with your hands. Of course the question is:

“How do you keep up with football in the UK?”

There are two answers:
1. Sky Sports
2. Slingbox

I don’t think I need to describe Sky Sports in detail as you just order some premium package and pay your arse for it. My personally mantra states that I don’t generally pay my arse for anything. This leaves us at the second option: Slingbox.

Here’s how it basically works:

The Slingbox AV is the perfect companion for your DVR, digital cable, or satellite receiver. The Slingbox AV allows you to watch and control live TV, or any other TV entertainment you have, anywhere you go. Using an Internet connected computer or wireless mobile device, you can watch and control your home TV, DVR, digital cable box, or satellite receiver around town or around the globe. With a Slingbox AV you will never be separated from your favorite TV shows, sports broadcasts, breaking news stories, digital video recordings, or video on demand.

I bought a Slingbox for ~$100 before I crossed the pond and hooked it up at my folks’ place. Now I can watch anything they watch. It is essentially like being able to watch their TV. The only thing is that if they flip the channel, you watch what they watch. I would recommend a Tivo, also , as it will allow you to beat the time zone difference and be able to watch Monday Night Football without staying up past midnight. It could get a bit choppy when around 100-200kbps streaming, but good enough to get what’s going on. The audio portion generally comes down quite well, so it definitely allows you to follow the game.

The best thing is that this means I don’t have to start watching that other football anytime soon….you know, the kind you play with your foot.

Play.com is a relatively new to the UK but it is seriously eating Amazon’s lunch. It might come to the US soon, but here’s the basic premise of the Play.com shopping experience:

1. Focus on electronics, so you will find your phones, cameras, etc.
2. Prices are significantly lower than Amazon.co.uk
3. All prices include shipping. This is huge.

I did a quick check for prices for a set of speakers. The reason being that my speakers run on US electricity and speakers are not the type of thing you want to be converting with as they draw a lot of power. Add that to the fact that these are a pair of crap 8-year old speakers handed down by my nemesis Workmonkey. Speaking of which, I have a bag of e-waste that I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with. Thinking about just leaving it on the company receptionist’s desk and letting her deal with it. We’re talking about power strips, phones, routers, and all this other waste that has been shipped to the UK that I cannot use. Let me know if you have any ideas.

Back to the new e-waste I’m interested in buying….

Siimple comparison is here on a Logic3 speaker system (not what I’m going to get, just an example)

Price on Play.com

Price on Amazon.co.uk

There are many examples of this, but I would say all in all if you’re looking for a new product, Play.com would be the place to go for electronics. eBay may offer some deals but the prices on Play.com are pretty damn competitive inthe electronics area. Of course, you should definitely check HotUKDeals, the UK version of Fatwallet, first.

All that said, I haven’t found the right ones yet and may need to use this tiny laptop speaker a while longer. Bollocks.

Yes, it is true. Dentists in London suck.

Yeah baby

Ok, my first Dental experience in London was very British. There are a few different aspects of dentistry in London that are different than the US.

1. Dental plans are allowance based. In the US, dental plans generally allow you to go to any dentist that accepts your dental plan and gives you the negotiated rates. This means no paperwork, no worries. It allows you the standard one xray and two cleanings a year. Nothing out of pocket. In the UK it is different. My plan is basically a program where you go to any dentist and are given an allowance to spend. The thing that sucks, however, is that you have to shop around because with my plan I only get a set amount. and many dentists go over that amount to get a checkup and cleaning. Prices vary greatly between dentist to dentist so it pays to shop around. I went over by like 30gbp, which is all out of pocket. fdat

2. Avoid the hygenist. I recommend everyone(globally) get the cleaning from a dentist rather than a dental assistant/hygenist. Why? It means either your dentist is lazy or that your dentist is trying to squeeze more patients in which deteriorates the quality of service. I’ve had both types of dentists over the years and I assure you that having your dentist take the time to do your cleanings is critical. My US dentist did but my British dentist didn’t. Guess which dentist I would go back to. Make sure you ask who will be doing the cleaning before you go in.

3. Look for a non-British dentist. I found some South African and New Zealand dentists but unfortunately, because of #1 above, I was unable to go to them because it costs more than the allowance.

4. Make sure your first dental appointment covers the xrays. Some of them don’t. Basically, ask for the overall price, otherwise, they will take that saliva suction device and suck the quid out of your pocket faster than a fat boy runs after cake.

My experience
Ok…so at my appointment, my dentist was almost surprised that I didn’t have any problems with my teeth coming in and that I just wanted to get a checkup. He then kept commenting on the quality of my dental work (um…) and that my previous dentists have done a great job. My last dentist in the Bay Area did in fact do a great job, but is it that rare to see good dental work in London? My dentist then kept trying to get the name of the tooth-whitening product that I had used last year. You know, the one that has given me a pearly white smile that makes people put on their sunglasses. Aw yeah. If you are looking for such a product I will sell it to you at 20% on top of retail. It’s hard work having white teeth, my friends.

So after the rather weak examination by the dentist, I was led off to the torture chamber where an Asian girl was awaiting. I will hereafter refer to her as “she-devil”. Imagine the worst place you have ever been…now imagine pouring a bucket of blood into it and smearing entrails all over the walls. Something to that effect.

She had a blowtorch mask on and had a sinister tray of tools ready for possible enemy. It was sort of like a combination of movies: Braveheart and Hostel. For Braveheart, I am referring to that final scene with all the torture devices where Wallace cries out FREEEEEEEEDOM for the last time. And for Hostel, I am not referring to the pleasant beginning of the movie at the hostel. Yes, I am referring to the chamber of death…with entrails on the walls.

Is that a cavity I see?

So she-devil starts attacking, pushing, sawing, grinding…doing everything at 10x the force it needed to be. My gums were bleeding profusely, of course. For some reason she-devil decided never to pause to splash my mouth with water and suck out all the fluid like every other hygenist/dentist I’ve had. As a result, I’m forced to swallow the goo that is in my mouth…swallowing, of course, is something no man should have to do…ever.

I’m used to pain at the dentist chair, but this was intense, folks. I was literally feeling it two days later. Sure, I get some calculus on my teeth that needs to be scraped, but the force used was fit for scraping cement off my teeth. I kept seeing bloody saliva being stringed along with her dagger when normally dentists would spray water and suction at such a sight. It’s sort of like a loogee that you fish around with a popsicle stick…except it falls on your face. At one point, she=devil told me to use my tongue to lick some blood off my front teeth. ZOMG. I’m bloody bloody serious. I was in shock…and pain. Imagine taking a push pin and sticking it into your eyeball. Then injecting battery acid into that fresh wound and you probably have the pain level she was imposing on yours truly. Cheers.

I promise to floss

When it was all over, I went over to rinse my mouth…full of blood and calculus, of course…and for the first time in my life in a dentist office, I had dried blood caked on my cheek that I had to wipe off with a damp towel. It did, to my pleasant surprise, give my cheeks a nice rosy color, though. Then I passed out and they rushed me to the hospital due to blood loss.

Ok, I didn’t pass out…but this has got to be one of the more traumatic dental experiences I’ve had. I’ll try a different practice in 6 months time, but the verdict so far is that British dentistry is bloody bollocks. At least I know what Wallace was feeling when he died.

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM

Banking in the UK has been an absolute nightmare.

When I came over from the US, I was given two “streamlined processes” that I can take. So I already had an edge on someone who did not work for a company with a relationship with a bank. I’ve heard it’s a nightmare to do it yourself. Ultimately it comes down to requiring you to have bills to prove your residence in the UK before banks will give you an account. But you can’t really get a residence without a bank account. WTF.

So I had two options:
1. Natwest UK
2. HSBC Premier International Banking

Being from the US, I decided to go for the HSBC Premier banking because it offers wires between the UK/US (at a crap exchange rate)…about a month ago.

I had to scan and email about 80 different forms of verification documentation to my account manager in the US. I went through two different people, neither of which had any clue what was going on. I just emailed them and left messages for them daily for weeks, usually without any response.

So finally, last week, after many attempts, I got my account manager on the line and voila…apparently the accounts had been opened but no one mentioned it to me. TYVM. The only problem was that my US cards were sent to my parents home and my UK cards were sent to the International banking center in Manchester. Um..TYVM, but I’m in London?!?! I actually had to get the bank to send the cards to my local branch, but as of writing do not have any credit or debit cards yet. Yeah, TYVM.

All of that said, there are two advantages to the Premier banking account:
1. You can do everything through the phone
2. You get a CSR on the phone 24/7
3. I got a 5000gbp overdraft, which I had to use to get my flat.

It was definitely a long drawn out process that HSBC had which I would not recommend. I have no experience with any other banks in the UK, but there has to be better than HSBC. All that said….the Brits say all the banks suck..so maybe banking just sucks overall in the UK. Or maybe banks suck overall across the world, since Americans say the same thing about BofA, Wells, Wamu(probably less so).

The one improvement for banks in the UK is that they don’t assess that ridiculous ATM charge if you use a different bank’s ATM. I’ve always felt that to be ridiculous and why I have gone with my internet banks (FirstIB and eTrade both reimburse ATM fees, not to mention the money-market-esque interest rates).

So you brought your entire suite of electronics to London and are about to plug each of them into the wall and suck down electricity like an American. Oops. Not that easy. I’m not sure how or where this all started (probably the French), but electricity is different in the UK than other parts of Europe and the USA.

Electricity in the UK:

Voltage: 230V - outlets are quite often controlled by wall switches. They are not always “on”. 240V may also be found although 230V is the official voltage.
Frequency: 50Hz
Type of Electrical Plug Used: Type G. It has three prongs (two flat and one rectangular) forming a triangle.

Wall sockets basically look like the picture below:

The plug on the left goes to a tea pot for afternoon tea and crumpets.

The cool thing with the wall sockets here is that they all come with on/off switches right on the wall. This is great for not consuming electricity when you don’t want to. It means you can save your electricity for plugging in your vacuum so you can Flowbee. That’s right…a perfect haircut EVERY TIME.

Anyways, what all this means is that you need to take your US power plug and get it to fit into those crazy looking ones in the UK.

There are basically two routes you can take to use your American devices:
1. Voltage converter - converts 220-240v voltage to 100-120v. This means it will make it so less voltage goes into your device so it doesn’t blow it up.
2. Plug adapter - If you have a device that runs at 220-240v already or if you have a device that has a built in voltage converter this is all you need.

Voltage converter (L) and plug adapter(R)

How do I figure out whether my device will need a converter or adapter?
Look for the Input section of the Power part of your device. If it has a range like 100-240v, you are set. If it’s static like 120VAC, don’t plug it in. Again, just look for a range like 100-240v. It’s pretty simple what it will do if you don’t listen to the London Ninja: YOU WILL BLOW SHIT UP!!!…or more likely it will short and you won’t be able to power up your portable clock anymore.

Pobrecita.