London Ninja

7. Ladrones
Ladrones deserve their own section when talking about Barcelona. It is highlighted in all of the guidebooks but I think deserve particular attention for Barcelona. Our first major encounter was at the Golden Arches. Yes, we had McDonalds in Spain…but Big Macs in Europe just taste that much better than they do in the US. There’s no piece of home like getting some good old American grub and a full stomache for cheap.

So we were all sitting there chomping down on Frites con Mayo when a McDonalds worker came by and asked us if my camera bag was mine. I said si, unsure of what she wanted. She then went to another side and asked if another bag belonged to a lady two tables down. The worker then came back, signaled for us to look at the bag and said “ladron”. We were trying to figure out what was going on and realised there was a man that had come and sat right next to us that was not eating. We did not think anything of it because we were stuffing our face with Spanish Big Mac con frites. I was certainly pondering the way the silky mayonnaise contrasts with the deep fried crispy texture of the frites as it comes in contact with my tongue. The ladron, who I think was Asian, came and sat down and managed to go through the front pocket of my camera bag. Because a true ninja never leaves his stars in grasp of the enemy, there was nothing in that pocket but if the Mcdonalds worker had not come by, el ladron very well could have taken the entire bag. Bollocks.

I would guess I had roughly a thousand quid worth of photography gear in my bag. Yes, I’m a wanna-be paparrazzi…keeping an eye out for Li-Lo and Brangelina the whole time on my holiday. After that scare, my family and I spent the rest of the time playing “pickpocket”. Actually a pretty cool game…try to steal your mum’s wallet from her purse without her noticing. In concluding that the outside pocket of my camera bag is not secure, I considered putting something nasty in there for the ladrones. Nasty as in feces…from my own arse. That’s gross.

So that same night, we meet up with some of my London co-workers that all happened to be in Barcelona on the same weekend. Big crew of Britons in Barcelona…fab time. Only downside? Ladrones. At one bar, we all hung out at two tables. Being a Friday night the place was packed. At one point in the evening, someone in the group asked if anyone had seen his jacket. I think it was clear at that point that a ladron had come around and gotten two jackets that were on a chair, one containing an iPod and the other belonging to a chick in the group. The only positive in that story was that it was kind of an out-of-style denim jacket that the dude lost. Now, I’m not saying I’m P-Diddy or anything but I’m pretty sure denim jackets aren’t cool. I’m a big retro guy, but I haven’t received that memo that says denim jackets are back. And certainly not for blokes. The part that does suck though is that he had his iPod in his jacket. I’m not an Apple guy, so I’m not crying a river but I can feel for someone losing his music collection.

Tips for safe travel:
1. Put all bags in front of you, on top of the table. If you put it on your sides, it will be gone. If you put bag underneath the table, it will be gone.
2. Clip your bag to something where possible. Many places have something you can clip your bag to. If there is none, use your own bag and clip around table. This especially applies to securing your bag on trains.
3. Always keep an eye out for dudes with a loose jacket being carried on one shoulder.
4. Do not take your jacket off at bars. If you do, keep it on your lap or tie it to something.
5. Do not wear denim jackets as a man. Ever.