London Ninja

Word: Mexicant
Definition: A Mexicant is a person of Mexican descent who won’t work hard and is often seen goofing off and being lazy. Combination of Mexican and the contraction can’t.
source: urbandictionary

My own definition of it is more of anything (person, thing, or place) that is of sub-par quality. Of course, I first heard of the term in Once Upon a Time in Mexico, when Johnny Depp so eloquently says it to either Cheech or that one Mexican dude in all the movies.

Usage: “So, Jose…are you a Mexican or a Mexicant?”

Something written above is probably offensive to somebody out there. But the people that would be offended by this are so far away, this probably will not reach all the way there. It’s one thing to be in cities named: San Diego, San Francisco, or El Cajon. It’s another to be in Islington, London. I have no fear here on any Mexican retaliation. That said, I love Mexicans, and in particular Im a big fan of Mexican food.

My precious

The burrito is the gold standard when it comes to Mexican food. It’s a pretty simple formula…

Burrito Ingredients:
1. Freshly rolled tortilla. Nothing store bought. You need someone Mexican to make it and deliver it.
2. Fresh ingredientes. Avocado is the most important. Ingredients should not include more than the following:
Pico del gallo (optional) aka salsa fresca
Carne – pollo asado, carne asada, or carnitas. That’s it. Stay away from shredded anything but carnitas. Don’t venture too much here, you will get hepatitis. Mexican food is not where you want to be adventurous. You could do char-grilled meats…but that tends to be in business burritoes that cost $8 and tou would tend to be a wanker in a suit.
Queso (optional)
sour creme (optional)
onion and coriander…you Americans call it “cilantro”
guacamole
Salsa (to be added on after)

That’s it. Notice I did not put beans, rice, or…God forbid…lettuce. If you want a salad on the side, feel free. Feel free to also stick crumpets up your arse. I could care less. Keep in mind fresh salad is what I call Mexicant food. Don’t mess with it. You may die. [London Ninja does not assume any responsibility over deaths resulting from bad Mexicant.]

So why am I writing about Mexican food? Because there isn’t any in London. I would probably kill a small child in Portugal for a good burrito here. My American friend in London did show me a whole site devoted to the pursuit of a good burrito in London, but I am going to refrain from this quest. It´s not going to happen. There’s no good Mexican food outside of California(Tex-Mex tastes like Taco Bell) and I can barely find a good burrito in San Francisco. For the most part they only exist in Southern California. Everywhere else outside of California, including London only gets Mexicant food.

Instead of Forth of July, in the UK we have Guy Fawke’s Night aka Bonfire Night. It’s basically a time when people go outside and light up their fireworks. I have to admit I enjoy fireworks a lot. On my birthday a couple of years ago, we lit a couple of monster fireworks on the beach that went on for a good 20 minutes…before the cops came and we had to run for it. I’m generally a law-abiding citizen, but when it comes to anything gun-powder, I’m all for bending the rules.

So tonight, there are tons of fireworks shows all over along the Thames, etc. Why wouldn’t you when you are celebrating, right? In America, we are celebrating the day of independence from the horrible Brits. Fair enough. But what are the Brits celebrating tonight?

Who is this Guy?

The Gunpowder Plot

The Gunpowder Plot of 1605, or the Powder Treason, as it was known at the time,[1] was a failed attempt by a group of provincial English Catholics to kill King James I of England, his family, and most of the Protestant aristocracy in a single attack by blowing up the Houses of Parliament during the State Opening on 15 November 1605 (5 November 1605 on the Gregorian calendar)[2][3]. The conspirators had also planned to abduct the royal children, not present in Parliament, and incite a revolt in the Midlands.

The Gunpowder Plot was one of many unsuccessful assassination attempts against James I, and followed the Main Plot and Bye Plot of 1603. Some popular historians have put forward a debate about government involvement in the plot.

On 5 November each year, people in the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth countries and regions[5] celebrate the failure (or among some groups, the attempt) of the plot on what is known as Guy Fawkes Night, Bonfire Night, Fireworks Night, Cracker Night or Plot Night

So, in case you didn’t read that bit closely…it’s a night that celebrates the failure of an assassination attempt on King James I. Come again? It’s like having a John Hinckley, Jr Day. Not only does Guy get a day out of the year for himself, his name is now in the dictionary to represent a male person:

The word ‘guy’ came thus in the 19th century to mean a weirdly dressed person, and hence in the 20th and 21st centuries in the UK and U.S. to mean, in slang usage, any male person.

Um…so a guy tries to kill the King and gets a day to commenorate this event and his name is forever associated with a day of celebration. Makes perfect sense, guys.