London Ninja

Word: Surgery
Definition: A physician’s or dentist’s office.
Usage: I went to a dental surgery a bit ago, where my dentist proceeded to remove a pint of blood from my gums. Cheers.

Word: Theatre
Definition: Operating room in a hospital
Usage: After watching Les Mis at the theatre, I came down with appendicitis and had to go to the theatre for Mr Wellington to operate on my sick arse.

When you need to go get your liver examined for the years of abuse, you go to hospital, not to the hospital, you yankee. Also, general practitioners are referred to as “doctor” but surgeons, obstetricians, and gynaecologists are referred to as “Mr“, “Mrs“, or “Miss“. That should show those lazy bums that decided to specialize in brain surgery. Brits also refer to homeless people as “sir” and members of Parliament(also referred to as MPs) as “biatch“.

Word: Chemist
Definition: drugstore or pharmacy, like Rite Aid or Longs Drugs…except in London it is Boots and Superdrug (now that’s a real name). None of the drugstores here sell that Chocolate Malted Crunch like Thrifty used to for 29 cents, though.
Usage:Would you mind picking up a kit for a home-based personal hygiene kit for me, my dear lad?

Oh, and the other Dublin picture representative of the city….

Oh, I forgot to share this beautiful picture of the city of Dublin:

Finally got out of London. OK, I lie…I came out to Dublin a few weeks ago for Guinness, I mean work, during the week, which doesn’t really count.

Dublin in Celtic

Why Dublin?
1. It’s where the Guiness brewery is located.
2. I had to be there for work on Monday and Tuesday anyway.

We arrived on Saturday and immediately started exploring the city. The first stop? Breakfast. After taking a quick peek around City Centre, it became evident that Irish breakfasts are not that great. Beans, overdone scrambled eggs, black sausage…mmmm. Ok, so we cheated and went to McDonalds for breakfast. McMuffin bun, bacon, egg…so good…so American.

Highlights:
1. Took a historical walking tour of the city.
We took the historical walking tour, which highlighted some of the history of the place. Unfortunately, the tour did not give more detail on some of the more interesting things…like the IRA, Potato Famine, and Guinness.

Temple Bar in Dublin

2. Watched a football game in an Irish pub
As it was Saturday with an important game on, we hit up a pub in Temple Bar. Temple Bar is the main downtown area in Dublin for tourists. We were given a tip by our tour guide on the pub to hit (Palace Bar) with the most authenticity in the area. That’s where I got my first Guiness of the trip. I gotta say, it does taste better there. We sat next to some old Irish dudes that at started talking to us. I understood about 65% of what he was saying but I would repeat certain words to him to make him feel good. Something about football (not soccer)…and Guiness…

Yes, it tastes better in Dublin

3. Visited the Guiness Storehouse
It is expensive (15 EUR) to get in but it’s one of those experiences that you can tell your kids. Built in 1997, the Guiness Storehouse was quite an experience. I had no idea how big a company Guiness really was. I guess at a certain point they were the biggest brewery in the world. We got to taste the NorthStar brew, which is a limited edition brew that is only available there. There’s also this touristy thing at the top that gives you a nice view of all of Dublin. Definitely worth checking out if you’re in Dublin. I think if you wanted to bypass the pint of Guiness at the end, you could do the self-directed tour without paying a pence. I had booked mine online.

Such natural beauty

I was never really a big Guinness drinker before but have been converted. The milky color of the Guinness as it oozes out of the tap. The white foam that forms on top, aka the Head. And yes, I have heard all jokes that refer to Head.

You can continue to drink your Coors Lights, but I’m now a Guinness drinker.

4. Visited the Old Jameson Distillery
This is a new tourist site that gives you a viewing of the Irish whisky process and what goes in it. I volunteered for a taste test and took down like 4 shots of different kinds of whisky. Irish whisky is missing that smokey flavor that’s so heavy in Scotch whisky like Johnny, which I’m a fan of. It’s pretty smooth though. By smooth, I mean you only black out for 2 seconds after drinking it.

5. My cab driver was an ex-undercover intelligence officer that investigated IRA funding.
All of the cab drivers were quite interesting and very friendly. The last taxi driver we had to the airport told us all kinds of stories about chasing the money trail of the IRA all the way to Boston. It was very cool. He also recommended going to Belfast in North Ireland(which is a part of the UK) next time because of how expensive Dublin has become. Trudat.

6. Guinness.
Best Guiness in the world. Wish you were beer.

What I liked
1. People are great in Dublin. The locals are very friendly and quite chatty. My cab drivers all had stories to tell and questions to ask.
2. Guiness
3. Jameson
4. Guiness
5. Dawson St with Cafe En Seine and Fire

What I disliked
1. Prices are bloody expensive
2. Not a lot to see
3. Temple Bar area is a tourist / stag and hen party trap. Visit it but don’t eat or drink there without being gouged.
4. Food – just not Ireland’s strong point.

We spent a total of 4 days in Dublin and must say it was a nice experience. There’s not a whole lot to see there but theres a nice charm to the city and it feels completely safe…next time I go out to Ireland, I will probably venture outside of Dublin to get more of the countryside. And maybe have a bit of Guinness.

All in all, I must say that food in London so far has been better than expected. I’d say the days where all food in the UK sucked are gone…in London anyway. Living in Notting Hill obviously helps with the selection of restaurants. All that said, obviously there are still terrible food places in London with some places mistaking hamburger patties with meatloaf patties. Fish and chips are generally pretty good. I mean…it’s deep fried fish and potatoes….what can you really do wrong there? It’s like flied lice or pizza. Even when it’s not perfect, it’s still flied lice. Yes, flied lice.

Oh…and by the way, everything costs twice as much as they do in the US, in case you didn’t know that.

How do I eat in London at American prices?

Yes, folks, I have found the way. And I’m not talking about Royale with Cheese every night.

1. TasteLondon. This is basically like the Entertainment card of London. For 50gbp, you can get 2 4 1 deals and for some restaurants it’s actually 50% off the entire bill. You also get the Timeout Drinking Guide.

2. TopTable. This website allows you to book meals ahead of time with lots of 241 deals. This is great if you don’t want to drop 50gbp for the TasteLondon card. Obviously the choices aren’t as great, but this works well if you aren’t living in London.

Or…as I have started to do….stop converting GBP to USDs. It will ruin the your meal, unless you have had a few ales….in which case it will cause you to take down a few more ales.

London serves ales like the bards and fighting dwarves used to drink in Dungeons and Dragons. I also used to get beat up in elementary school. The way they’re served is that they are actually hand pumped to produce the dark, not-very-fizzy, not-as-cold drink called “bitters”. I’ve also been told by Workmonkey that they have more nutrition in them that the Bud Light you drink does not have. So you should consider the hand-pumped ales next time you’re in London for your health and demise.

Don’t even think about singing that Fergie song.