London Ninja

Yeah…wtf

Word: PC
Definition: Police Constable. Not a Personal Computer or Politically correct. It is the acronym used for cops or “pigs” as they are referred to in the rap albums that were listened to where I grew up. It is where I developed all my stealth mad ninja skillz.

A constable is a person holding a particular office, most commonly in law enforcement. However, the office of constable can vary significantly in different jurisdictions.

Originally, in some European countries during the Middle Ages, a constable was a person in charge of keeping the horses of his lord. The title comes from the Latin comes stabuli (attendant of the stables).

Example:When the cheeky robber came to my flat to steal my PC, I called a PC to bust that hooligan. I could call him worse names but I wish to remain PC in my blogs.

Not much time to write as we just got dumped on by the movers. After almost 3 months, all of my stuff has arrived in London by sea freight. I felt bad for the movers that had to bring things up 3 flights of stairs including some stuff I’m too embarrassed to even unpack while they were around.

The two awesome events that happened to us are:
1. They were able to take the bed and dispose of it. As our flat came furnished, we didn’t need it. They charged like 25gbp to get rid of it, but I’m happy to dish that out…although I think it just goes on the corporate account so it will never hit my wallet. Fantastic. Oh, and that bed was a hand-me-down from my parents and like 15 years old..no joke. Yeah, sorta gross, but hey…thats how ninjas roll. We don’t get rid of things that are functional.
2. The movers broke the desk. It was in like 2 pieces. Given the fact that it was given to me sort of broken by my neighbors in San Francisco, I have no particular attachment to it. The fact that it was broken just means I don’t have to deal with it. Almost like the hand of God taking care of business for me. Thank you Almighty.

We have lots of stuff for our flat but it’s actually not as bad as I was anticipating. The great thing is that all of my moisturizers and exfoliation creams have arrived and hence I can continue with my great skincare. Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful.

Certain topics are worth continuously blogging about. Guinness is one of them. As alluded to from my first excursion, Guinness now has a special place in my heart. This last weekend in Bath, I ordered a Guinness at the Pig and Thistle and have to say that the stuff truly is better in Dublin than anywhere else I’ve ever had it. That includes that little hole in the wall Irish pub in San Diego, the Blarney Stone. Yeah, the same Blarney Stone in every town. Something about the water in Dublin I guess.

The biggest question, of course, is:

Question: Isn’t Guinness high in calories?
Answer:

Not especially. “Guinness is not notably high in calories…” (MJBC, p 177) This refers to the draught, bottle-conditioned and draught flow ™ product, which are fairly low in alcohol. Calories in beers come from the alcohol and the residual sugars. The higher the alcohol, the higher the caloric content.

Guinness is no more fattening or calorific than any other beer of similar alcoholic strength. The beer has no fat, however it does contain protein, sugar, carbohydrates and alcohol. The alcohol accounts for 65-75% of the calorific content irrespective of the beer in question. Per pint, Draught Guinness has 210 calories; as a reference, one pint of semi-skimmed milk has 260 calories and one pint of orange juice has 220 calories. Draught Guinness actually has fewer calories than most other premium beers and lagers.

For comparison, take a look at the chart of nutritional content for most beers.

Brand, Brewer (Country), % Alcohol, Calories/12 oz., Carbohydrates(grams)

Guinness info:
Guiness Draught - Bottle Guinness (Ireland) * 126 9.9
Guinness Extra Stout Guinness (Ireland) 4.27 153 17.4

Other beers:
Michelob Ultra Anheuser Busch 4.1 95 2.6
Miller Genuine Draft Miller 5.0 143 13.1
Sam Adams Boston Lager Boston Beer 4.75 160 18.0
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale Sierra Nevada 5.6 200 12.3
Heineken Lager Beer Heineken (Holland) 5.0 150 11.5
Coors Light Adolph Coors 4.2 102 5.0
Budweiser Anheuser Busch 5.0 145 10.6

Yeah yeah, so you got your Coors Light numbers, but what kind of numbers do the real beers have? Here you go:

High Class Beers:
Colt 45 Malt Liquor G. Heileman 6.1 174 11.1
Keystone Ice Adolph Coors 5.9 143 6.6
Milwaukee’s Best Miller 4.5 128 11.4

Bottom Line
And there you have it. Guinness has less calories than MGD, Budweiser, even Keystone Ice(whowuddathawt). Bottom Line: Don’t shy away from Guinness…it’s good for you!

Today is a bank holiday in the UK and hence my first long weekend here. In the UK, there are “bank holidays” rather than named holidays…so no “Queens Day” or “Labor Day”…just many flavors of bank holidays during the year for when banks are closed. As I had blogged about before, the UK actually has less holidays than the US.

Here’s the list of bank holidays in the UK:

New Year’s Day 1 Jan
Good Friday Bank Holiday 6 Apr
Easter Monday Bank Holiday 9 Apr
Early May Bank Holiday (First Monday in May)
Spring Bank Holiday (Last Monday in May)
Summer Bank Holiday(Last Monday in August)
Christmas Day
Boxing Day

Boxing Day does not involve Oscar De La Hoya…or any sort of UFC event unfortunately. Something to do with the boxes used for gifts during Christmas.

Yes, it is true. Dentists in London suck.

Yeah baby

Ok, my first Dental experience in London was very British. There are a few different aspects of dentistry in London that are different than the US.

1. Dental plans are allowance based. In the US, dental plans generally allow you to go to any dentist that accepts your dental plan and gives you the negotiated rates. This means no paperwork, no worries. It allows you the standard one xray and two cleanings a year. Nothing out of pocket. In the UK it is different. My plan is basically a program where you go to any dentist and are given an allowance to spend. The thing that sucks, however, is that you have to shop around because with my plan I only get a set amount. and many dentists go over that amount to get a checkup and cleaning. Prices vary greatly between dentist to dentist so it pays to shop around. I went over by like 30gbp, which is all out of pocket. fdat

2. Avoid the hygenist. I recommend everyone(globally) get the cleaning from a dentist rather than a dental assistant/hygenist. Why? It means either your dentist is lazy or that your dentist is trying to squeeze more patients in which deteriorates the quality of service. I’ve had both types of dentists over the years and I assure you that having your dentist take the time to do your cleanings is critical. My US dentist did but my British dentist didn’t. Guess which dentist I would go back to. Make sure you ask who will be doing the cleaning before you go in.

3. Look for a non-British dentist. I found some South African and New Zealand dentists but unfortunately, because of #1 above, I was unable to go to them because it costs more than the allowance.

4. Make sure your first dental appointment covers the xrays. Some of them don’t. Basically, ask for the overall price, otherwise, they will take that saliva suction device and suck the quid out of your pocket faster than a fat boy runs after cake.

My experience
Ok…so at my appointment, my dentist was almost surprised that I didn’t have any problems with my teeth coming in and that I just wanted to get a checkup. He then kept commenting on the quality of my dental work (um…) and that my previous dentists have done a great job. My last dentist in the Bay Area did in fact do a great job, but is it that rare to see good dental work in London? My dentist then kept trying to get the name of the tooth-whitening product that I had used last year. You know, the one that has given me a pearly white smile that makes people put on their sunglasses. Aw yeah. If you are looking for such a product I will sell it to you at 20% on top of retail. It’s hard work having white teeth, my friends.

So after the rather weak examination by the dentist, I was led off to the torture chamber where an Asian girl was awaiting. I will hereafter refer to her as “she-devil”. Imagine the worst place you have ever been…now imagine pouring a bucket of blood into it and smearing entrails all over the walls. Something to that effect.

She had a blowtorch mask on and had a sinister tray of tools ready for possible enemy. It was sort of like a combination of movies: Braveheart and Hostel. For Braveheart, I am referring to that final scene with all the torture devices where Wallace cries out FREEEEEEEEDOM for the last time. And for Hostel, I am not referring to the pleasant beginning of the movie at the hostel. Yes, I am referring to the chamber of death…with entrails on the walls.

Is that a cavity I see?

So she-devil starts attacking, pushing, sawing, grinding…doing everything at 10x the force it needed to be. My gums were bleeding profusely, of course. For some reason she-devil decided never to pause to splash my mouth with water and suck out all the fluid like every other hygenist/dentist I’ve had. As a result, I’m forced to swallow the goo that is in my mouth…swallowing, of course, is something no man should have to do…ever.

I’m used to pain at the dentist chair, but this was intense, folks. I was literally feeling it two days later. Sure, I get some calculus on my teeth that needs to be scraped, but the force used was fit for scraping cement off my teeth. I kept seeing bloody saliva being stringed along with her dagger when normally dentists would spray water and suction at such a sight. It’s sort of like a loogee that you fish around with a popsicle stick…except it falls on your face. At one point, she=devil told me to use my tongue to lick some blood off my front teeth. ZOMG. I’m bloody bloody serious. I was in shock…and pain. Imagine taking a push pin and sticking it into your eyeball. Then injecting battery acid into that fresh wound and you probably have the pain level she was imposing on yours truly. Cheers.

I promise to floss

When it was all over, I went over to rinse my mouth…full of blood and calculus, of course…and for the first time in my life in a dentist office, I had dried blood caked on my cheek that I had to wipe off with a damp towel. It did, to my pleasant surprise, give my cheeks a nice rosy color, though. Then I passed out and they rushed me to the hospital due to blood loss.

Ok, I didn’t pass out…but this has got to be one of the more traumatic dental experiences I’ve had. I’ll try a different practice in 6 months time, but the verdict so far is that British dentistry is bloody bollocks. At least I know what Wallace was feeling when he died.

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM

For all my ninjas in the US, I no longer watch US movies. I also no longer see the sun, no longer brush my teeth, and no longer eat vegetables….but I digress. Why watch crap Michael Bay cheeze movies when we got such fab UK movies? I watched Hot Fuzz last night and have to say this was one of the more enjoyable movies I’ve watched in the past couple of years. Action, mystery, horror, nothing for chicks. It is fantastic.

The movie is basically about an overachieving straight arrow London police officer who is transferred to Gloucestershire(you pronounce it GLAW-STER-SURE, you yankee) to join the underachieving police force there. The police officer finds more than he bargained for in the “World’s best village”

And that will be the last movie synopsis I write because I’m not that good at it. If you haven’t watched Hot Fuzz, go rent it. If you have seen Hot Fuzz, go watch The Descent. If you’ve seen both, you should watch Shaun of the Dead, which features all the same people in Hot Fuzz. Thus concludes the list of all of the British movies that I know. Enjoy.

Reference for yesterday’s Medical Words of the Day, in case you think a surgery really means a theatre.

Come this way to get your labadomy.