London Ninja

Definition: Food to be carried out of the restaurant
American equivalent: “to go”
Usage: When you go to a restaurant, you don’t ask for “to-go”…you ask for “takeaway”

For our first meal in London, we walk down Queensway road in Notting Hill, where there is a ton of restaurants…all ethnicities. That it is around 10:30pm, we hit up a Thai place called Tuk Tuk.

The cool thing with London is that you get to see the menu and prices outside of every restaurant. No guessing at menu or prices. No asking for the menu from a stuck up hostess. You just look.

Pad Thai: 3.95 GBP
Spicy Chicken with Fried Rice: 4.65
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~9 GBP = ~18 USD

Yeah, it’s more expensive than the US, but $20 between two people is pretty standard. I did pass on that 2.5 GBP Sinha Beer, which I may or may not have gotten in the US.

All in all the food was mediocre. The pad thai had the nice “wok taste” that you get when you heat up the wok at high temperatures and stir fry the shit out of whatever is in the pan using your favorite animal shortening (lard). It gets that slightly burnt taste that I live for in chow mein, chow funs, fried rice, etc. Unfortuately, the rest of the pad thai was pretty forgettable. Nothing great here.

The Spicy fried chicken was a drumstick. I like drumsticks, but it is generally one of the less expensive parts of a chicken. It was may not have completely done. We still eat it all but I think this meal caused some stomache anger.

Given that there is about 489 other restaurants within walking distance, we will not be going back. Now, about that Sinha beer….

Diary = equivalent of ‘calendar’.

Please repeat in your best/worst British accent. Please try to sound like Benny Hill when you do:

Ex: “Can you set up a time on your diary for Wellington to chat to you?”

As excited as I was landing in London, I wanted to get to my 2-month home as soon as I could after a rough plane ride. Not bargaining and battling to get the lowest price, I went with the first cabbie that asked me if I need a ride into London. Here was the exchange and experience that ensued…

“Need a taxi?”
“Yes, to Notting Hill. How much?”
“Come with me”

So I follow the middle easterner over towards the elevators and ask again:

“How much?”

He walked up to another fellow to get the pricing and came back:

“48 GBP”

I thought about it…knew I could get it down to around 40, but agreed with him because my head hurt and I was ready for a shower. So we go down the elevator and towards the parking garage, when I started thinking…

Is this guy a real licensed cab driver? If he isn’t, why is he allowed in the airport?

When we get to the guy’s car, I see a regular car. Sort of nervous, I ask him:

“To be sure, are you a licensed cab driver?”
“Yes”
“Can I see your license?”
“I’ll show you in the car”

Ok. Fair enough. We put our bags in the cab and when we get in the car, I ask him for the license again. The license pretty looks like arse (British for ass). My kid cousin could make licenses way better than that in his sleep (my kid cousin makes counterfeit drivers licenses and Louis Vuitton bags). I know you can do better than a picture on a white background with a header that says London Cab Driver with a signature on the bottom. For some reason, I decided to trust humanity and go with it.

As we start pulling out, the cabby starts asking questions:

“How long are you here for?”
“2 weeks,” I lie. Not sure if that got me anything.

“Are you here for work?”
“Yes, sorta, ” Booya. Although, I guess it’s the truth.

“What company do you work for?”
“IBM.” BAM, flat out lie…although I did used to work for IBM but that was a long time ago.

At this point, humanity starts to fail….

“The GPS unit shows that it is 16 miles away so we have to charge you extra. I can give you a receipt for it.” he started.
“Excuse me?”
“There’s additional mileage that we didn’t account for that we will need to charge you an extra 10 GBP for”
“Dude, what are you talking about? We already set the price, I ain’t paying you any more than that price.”

He thinks about it for a moment, then says, “Ok, don’t worry about it.”

Right after that, he picks up his phone and starts talking to somebody in a Middle Eastern language. I am going to die.

There were three thrings that could happen at this point:
1. We arrive safely at the hotel.
2. He pulls us over, pulls a gun, and takes all of our shit.
3. He drives us into a setup, where we are taken hostage and appear on Aljazeera later that evening. I love you, mom and all my friends back home…and dad..

As we start going, I actually start to recognize some of the streets and neighborhood(Hammersmith). Things start looking good and we get close to our hotel when we pull into a dark alley.

Bloody Bollocks(British for shit). This is it. I hope people leave comments on my blog as my e-memorial site.

Somehow, because of road construction, we had to take a detour but end up in front of our hotel. I am relieved. I even give the cabby a tip (more because he did not have change than out of kindness) for a total of 50 GBP.

I haven’t figured out whether these non-standard cabs are a norm in London, but rest assured I will not be taking it again.

Here’s my takeaway: MAKE SURE YOU CHECK WITH AN OFFICIAL BEFORE YOU JUMP INTO A WEIRD MAN’S CAR OR YOU MAY END UP ON ALJAZEERA.

London: I have just moved to London from sunny California to live and work for a few years. My company has relocated me to London where I will have the opportunity to live, work, and travel all over Europe.

Ninja: As a master of zen, I enjoy secretly beating up kids and stealing their candy and then disappearing into thin air.

I am not going to live in London forever because ultimately my heart is in California, but I am going to live up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I have lived in California since the age of 7 and been there ever since. Outside of a 6-month internship in Raleigh, North Carolina, I have never lived anywhere else for an extended period of time. My only time in Europe was my 3 month backpacking trip with Hommer all throughout Western Europe and parts of Eastern Europe. I am looking forward to everything London will have to offer.

There are a few main elements of this blog:

1. Explore the cultural differences between London and California
2. Explore the quirky and weird stuff Brits do
3. Explore technology in the UK
4. Chronicle my travels outside of the UK to the rest of Europe
5. Gadgets for international travel
6. Being frugal with my money, I will chronicle the financial aspects of a relocation to London.
7. Chronicle day to day situations and how to get set up in London as an American

Cheers